By Ayesha Kreutz
BREAKING NEWS:
DNA Test Reveals Woman Must Cancel Herself After Discovering She Is Simultaneously the Oppressor, the Oppressed, and the Legal Owner of North America.
Seeing as how:
I am 19% Indian I mean, Native American, I mean indigenous that means I technically own the land my white side allegedly stole.
I am 43% Black I mean African American (to some), which means I qualify for reparations. And I’m a queen
I am 38% white, which means i am inherently racist and even when I do not know it I oppress and I owe the reparations.
I am now I’m stuck in a bureaucratic loop where I have to:
Scold myself, uplift myself, mistrust myself, apologize to myself, and then send myself a check…. all before breakfast.
Honestly, identity politics has me exhausted.
I’m my own colonizer, my own victim, and my own activist.
But don’t worry, I’m committed to “doing the work.”
All versions of me will be attending the struggle session tonight.
Snacks provided by my oppressed side.
Schedule enforced by my colonizer side.
Healing starts with honesty. And honestly?
I owe me an apology.
Though I still don’t know if I can trust it or myself.