By Mack Rights
What’s better than Ted Cruz in the White House for eight years?- How about Ted Cruz in the White House for sixteen years? To all uncompromising Christian Conservatives and everybody who is sick of our government, I’m asking you to hear me out and listen to my long-term strategy. Everybody else should go back to petting your blowup dolls while juicing up your “sex-wearables” with your IPhones- this article isn’t for porn-addicted perverts.
We’re at war to save Western Civilization and our Republic, and it’s time to act like we want to win it. Since you don’t send Christian missionaries to the front lines, we need to send a warrior. That’s why Donald J. Trump needs to be at the top of the ticket, and Ted Cruz needs to be the President of the Senate. With Cruz at his side, Trump will be a warlord in suit and tie carrying a loaded shotgun with Ted Cruz in the chamber- safety off suckers. It’s time to clean house.
Not only should Trump put Cruz in charge of picking judges, especially those to sit on the Supreme Court, Trump should make Cruz his permanent Congressional spy by sitting him in the Senate as the President of the Senate nearly every moment that the Senate’s in session (being president of the Senate is a job of the Vice President, for those who don’t know).That would be a big middle finger in the eye of Mitch McConnell and his liberal band of merry little pranksters.
When Mitch gets out of line, the Don will have him summoned to the White House where he’ll be ushered into the Lincoln bedroom to get a little prison-yard justice doled out by some of Trump’s newly unemployed illegal Mexican construction workers. Of course they’ll need to be paid under the table, but hey, this is a job that Americans won’t do.
Oh, don’t pretend this stuff doesn’t happen on the Democrat side. The Democrats know how to win and to keep their politicians in line. Consider when Harry Reid got a knock at the door of his Vegas hotel. Some gruff voice said, “Housekeeping Essay.” Like a fool, Reid actually opened the door, and then he got a good old-fashioned beating. “Word around the barrio is that you thinking about dropping tamale subsides. Don’t even think about it Essay.” Kapoooow, kaplink.
“Oh. Sorry about the eye Essay. Say anything about this, we’ll kill you.”
At least that’s how the story’s heard around MY campfire, but of course Harry Reid claims he was clobbered by a workout machine. Yeah, sure. I guess what I’m saying is: we need someone to keep our elected leaders in line. They no longer serve the interests of the people but rather the interests of the global corporations, which are inherently against the interests of the little guy, the small business and the middle class.
The liberals and progressive Republicans all whine about the Trump supporters looking for a dictator. That’s not what Trump is. He is directing his disgust and anger at the politicians who aren’t doing what they promised the people they’d do before being elected. As long as the dictator is holding elected officials’ feet to the fire, awesome. He’s not campaigning on how he’s going to oppress the people- he’s campaigning on how he’s going to make the government accommodate the demands of the ignored American people. That’s not in any way comparable to what Hitler or Stalin did. So pop a Valium drama queens.
Why don’t I just want Cruz at the top of the ticket?- I wouldn’t mind it, but I don’t think it will happen. It’s true that all the establishment hates him more than Bernie freakin’ Sanders, and some, like Senator Richard Burr, have admitted that they’d vote for Sanders over Cruz. You betcha that’s another great reason to vote for Cruz, but the American people don’t know enough about Cruz outside of what they’ve heard through the liberal media and the Republican Congressional surrender monkeys.
Whether we like it or not, the ignorance of the American people needs to be taken into account when building a strategy. And our Republican guys are so gutless and unprincipled that they’d rather have a Soviet-loving communist in the White House than have a principled conservative. Don’t forget, it’s not a secret that Sanders and his old lady honeymooned in the Soviet Union- yeah, that kinda makes him a communist. Sure, Glenn Beck will tell you how great Ted Cruz is, but once he’s done wiping the tears out of his eyes, even he admits, according to The Gateway Pundit, that he “prefers Bernie Sanders over Donald Trump.”
My Trump-Cruz strategy is about coming to terms with the cards we’re probably about to be dealt. No matter how hard Cruz fans pray, he’s probably going to have to be satisfied with second place. It then becomes our obligation to make sure Trump doesn’t pick some establishment squish to fill the shoes of court jester Joe Biden.
But we’re Christians. How can you ask us to throw away our principles and vote for someone who said “Two Corinthians?” One of my favorite pastors used to say “Two Corinthians”- it’s a cultural or regional thing. No matter, all the liberals in the media, who don’t give a crap about Jesus, immediately busted out their “Two Corinthians walk into a bar” jokes- clever heathens. Sure, Trump might not be as devout as you, but he still plans to stick up for religious freedom. He said pointblank: “If I get elected, Christianity will have power.”
That’s better than what Saul was offering to the followers of Jesus before Jesus refused to give up on him (Acts 9). How’d that turn out? Well let me tell you in case you can’t remember. After becoming Paul, Saul of Tarsus wrote near about 50% of the New Testament. Did Jesus forsake you before you accepted him, back when you were smoking bong hits, getting knocked up by one-night flings, dropping your baby off at the local abortion mill, driving drunk and stealing other peoples’ stuff? Are you setting the correct example by rejecting Trump because he’s not as religious as you, or should you maybe ought to embrace him to your side by being good examples of what Jesus told you to be? Is rejection the best method of Christian evangelism?
But there’s nothing in his past that would suggest that there is anything Christian or conservative about Trump. Well consider what has happened between his past and present. First, he read Ann Coulter’s book, “Adios America,” which highlights many of the heinous crimes committed by the illegal immigrants that both of our parties are protecting, over the will of the people and on behalf of their large corporate paymasters. Second, he’s seen the Planned Parenthood videos where abortionists are seen cutting up living abortion survivors in order to procure their baby-body parts before the baby even dies- no anesthesia. We’ve also had seven years of Obama and his tyrannical crusade against religious freedom for anyone not an atheist or a Muslim. Some things can’t be unseen, and some things can’t become unknown. Reality has a habit of knocking to some sense into you.
One thing’s for sure, Trump has a bigger mouthpiece than you, me and everyone we know put together. If we’re not the ones whispering in his ears, it’s going to be the hairy establishment’s seductive big-government sas-squish tickle monsters. It’s time to put our big foot down.
But right now, Trump is becoming the establishment’s pick. Yeah, that’s because they’re more afraid of Cruz than anything. Cruz’ name means cross, and they wilt before him like the blood-sucking vampires that they are. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Republican establishment joined the ACLU in a lawsuit to prevent keeping Cruz out of the White House because he’d violate the so-called Separation of Church and State. The godless liberals aren’t about to allow another cross into the White House after Obama just spent the last eight years getting rid of them all.
The establishment’s only compromising on Trump because they couldn’t get any of their spineless puppets above 2 or 3 percent in the polls. Cruz is actually scaring them into coming to our anti-establishment side. If we run from Trump though, we’re nothing but fair-weathered and judgmental friends in his eyes. What obligation would he then have to live up to his promises to us?
But Trump has given all this money to liberals in the past. Well, duh. He lives and works in New York City, where the Republican Party is nonexistent because it’s so afraid of its own shadow that it hides in the shadows previously occupied by the illegal immigrants- just so it doesn’t cast a shadow. What use in the world would it be to give money to the powerless little fraidy-cat Republicans? And ask yourself a question: do you really think Trump liked having to cut into his own profits by having to buy off politicians every time he wanted to build something? If he actually thought that that was the correct way of doing things, why wouldn’t he just run as a Democrat? That would make more sense if his goal of revenge on the system was to become the guy who gets the bribes. But no, he’s running against both parties and the system of bribery. He’s plainly talking about how corrupt it is, and he is therefore stripping the establishment poohbahs of both parties of their role as worshipped kingmakers occupying the throne of power and influence. As well, all the loser Republican consultants see him as an existential danger because he doesn’t need their useless advice- you know, the kind of advice that made Presidents McCain, Dole and Romney such a bunch of winners.
Yeah, but all the inner city blacks hate Trump. So we need to stop supporting him? Are you suggesting that if Trump loses, they’re all going to ignore the liberal media’s line on Cruz and suddenly start voting Republican in droves the way we haven’t seen since the days when blacks still actually knew that the Democrats were the party of slavery, segregation and the KKK? Come on. You have to come up with something better than that. The way I see it, if any Republican can make inroads into the minority communities, it’s Trump. They’ve seen him on TV, and they’ve seen how he treats everybody based upon their skills rather than the color of their skin. Isn’t that the kind of world MLK was dreaming about?
Trump’s not pandering. He’s not treating legal immigrants like useless welfare cases who can’t decipher between right and wrong when it comes to coming to America legally or illegally. Believe it or not, some minorities and immigrants don’t need to be pandered to and actually find it offensive when someone does pander to them. Sure, the Democrats pander too, but at least they come with cash. We’re offering nothing but the intangible pride that comes with living up to principles. Principles are a rich man’s luxury when you’re jobless, uneducated, hungry and unable to figure out where the rent money’s coming from.
Well, if Trump wins the primary, I’m not voting for anyone. I’m going to stay home and wait for the Rapture. Wow, what profundity! While you’re not the first in history to think that you’re suffering enough to still be human at the time of the Rapture, you will be the first to actually be right if you’re raptured. What are the chances that this all happens before you die? I don’t know. I can do math, but not that kind of math. Bottom line, if you give up and sit around waiting for the second coming of Christ, what happens to all your friends and family that aren’t yet saved? That’s right, they’re going to hell, either on earth after you’re gone or literally. And you’re promising to do nothing- that’s pretty brave. I’m sure Jesus will think you’re a freakin’ superhero. I guess that’s what they mean when they say, “God helps those who help themselves?”
Look, most liberals and many Republicans have to purposely maintain their ignorance of the existence of God. They’re praying daily to the nothing in which they believe that there is no heaven to look forward to just so they won’t have to spend eternity in the hell that they’re afraid they’re heading for. Their lack of certainty makes them miserable wretches seeking to build a heaven on earth by any means necessary. They’re hoping above everything that their lack of faith and their purposeful ignorance of the truth will be treated as a mitigating circumstance when it comes time to stand outside the pearly gates. Otherwise, they fear they’re going to have to watch the gatekeeper hand their damned souls to the devil for an eternity of torture and butt rapings in the fires of hell. Maybe they can illegally tunnel their way into heaven like the third-world invaders breaking into America, but I somehow doubt that heaven is being overrun by a bunch of illegal atheists.
Ever wonder why heaven’s protected by a fence and a gate, but America’s not? This brings me to why I argue that America may actually need a President Trump at the moment more than we need a President Cruz. Cruz is the Constitutionalist. He’d definitely try to undo what Obama’s done. But Obama’s done what he’s done outside the rules of the Constitution. As a Constitutionalist, Cruz would feel obligated to work inside the rules of the Constitution. It won’t work. Our so-called living Constitution wasn’t meant to withstand fire and then resurrect itself fully intact. Obama has overrun and empowered the bureaucracies with extra-Constitutional powers. According to Cheryl Chumley at WND, he recently bragged about how hard it will be to undo what he’s done:
“Well, you think about that,” [Obama] said, the Hill reported. “[But] what you discover when you’re president is that the institutions and programs and things that you have put in place and built, if you’re done a good job and you’ve done them sensibly, you know, in some cases may need tinkering with. … But if they’re good things, they’re harder to undo than you think.”
Our own Republican-controlled Senate and House have already said that there’s nothing they can do to undo what Obama has done. From Joseph Webber at Fox News, even conservative Senator Mike Lee admits that congress is helpless against Obama’s executive actions: Please Go to Part II to find out What Mike Lee had to say.